WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE (ka)PARIS! (Better Half Ninang? 😊)
Getting old certainly does not only bring memories. It brings questions of What might-have-beens if we chose a different path (midlife crisis Ninang?). And even more challenging to some, it stirs questions of WHO could-have-beens. Queries that wise people think should not be asked at all.
It could not be helped that this season of class reunions, friend gatherings, and time of proliferating viber groups, and instant access to people’s whereabouts and going for’s, people are brought closer to those who were once significant in their lives. Questions we never thought we’ll ask suddenly pop out– “Why didn’t we end up together?”, coupled with regrets like “She could have been more mature”, “He should have waited” (till the end of time Ninang?), “You could have been more understanding..less proud..less critical”, “he should have been born chinese”. 😋 Aging and get-togethers (in the net or real life) unearth remote memories.. and feelings.
Some face the thoughts head on and get a clear answer: you are less critical, less proud, more understanding, ready to wait, and more mature with your spouse; ergo, you ended up together. Some are gifted enough to dismiss the question “irrelevant and irreverent!” A few fall into a trap and explore forbidden possibilities (You are smarter than that!)
Resisting the temptation is not as easy as it looks; and particularly much more difficult for others. Some feel ending up with their current partner has been forced by circumstances beyond their control. And fueled by media frenzy over telenovelas about chasing evasive dreams (a.k.a. Dream boy and dream girl), these confused beings look forward to finding a lost love and rekindling old romance (please not when you’re married to someone else!). Or Worse, they seek and/or welcome a “new love”, that can bring back a lost feeling of excitement and thrill (lust Ninang?). And these, violating the sanctity of marriage. Lest they wisely perceive and understand, that this will only hurt more people, including themselves (in the fires of hell Ninang? “Yes!..Well, unless they repent and receive God’s grace through faith in Jesus!”). And chasing dreams without ever taking hold of it will be the perennial theme of their lives (chasing after the wind! “Wawa”)
Who might-have-beens is not exactly what people would want to talk about in class reunions. Unless the people you’re talking about are not there (so attend class reunions Ninang? “Yup!”). And the air of intrigue (Ninang, Tsismis!) can linger as an unspoken perception of awkwardness; only to be silenced by the confidence, trust and faithfulness of a believing spouse.
Unrequited love.. Withheld affection.. Restrained fondness.. “Love” that we’ve given up for one reason or another. Maybe it’s us.. Maybe it’s them. Perhaps it’s nobody’s doing or undoing. But it’s good to surmise, in God’s grand design of things, there’s a bigger and better plan for all of us. Ergo, we are where we should be, we are with the one who is Best for us; we are with the one who can bring out the Best in us. No doubt.
– Ninang unwithheld thoughts
“Tell Guin (Guinevere) she has changed me forever; but some things are not meant to be.” – Lancelot to Merlin in the TV series “Merlin”
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have…we say with confidence, The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid..” (Hebrews 13:4-6)
Song: “Bakit ngayon ka lang dumating Sa buhay ko..”
Answer: “Because you would have missed the BEST One for you; that (late) person meant to distract you.”
Song: “Sana dalawa ang puso ko..”
Comment: “Why not three? Para octopus ka na. 🙂 Kidding! There is only ONE Best for you.. your spouse!” PERIOD. 😋