THE PERFECT ONE (there is Ninang? 🤔)
“I can’t be perfect mommy!” I suddenly felt pity more than anger or frustration for my child who did not do as I instructed. I did not expect that my “why did you’s” and “why didn’t you’s” would be received as instruction for perfection. That it will be a burden rather than a direction. No wonder some children (and adults!) feel frustrated; and not of others but of themselves when they hear people almost constantly pinpointing their mistakes or shortcomings. “Sorry, I can’t be perfect.” Yes, me too.
We look for the Perfect One – the dress that will flatter our figure, the food that will satisfy our craving, the schedule that will allow us to do all our tasks and errands, the entertainment that will aptly reward us for our work.. Perfect! We look for the Perfect One. We exchange shoes that hurt our feet, dress that has the smallest stain, food with hair (we need to assume perfect hygiene during food preparation Ninang! “Yes, assume.”). Newly bought stuff and equipment should be perfect (of course Ninang!). Until we ourselves cause a dent in our car, drop our cellphones, stain our pristine bag and blouse (Perfect is not forever Ninang?).
Of course we seek the perfect one, the perfect partner. Is he the one who will send you floating on air and create butterflies in your stomach? Or the one that will give stability in your life? Is he the person who will love and accept you for who you are? Is he your friend who stood by you through thick and thin most of your life (parang jollibee commercial yan Ninang!). Or the one that will bring excitement to your days, whose gaze and touch will take your breath away (si McDonald!). They say don’t look for the perfect one; become the one who is perfect for him. If you can’t make fairy tales come true for yourself, make it come true for others. Maybe your partner is thinking the same. 😬 That will be grand!
I remember one of my colleagues always exclaiming after a well done 2D Echocardiogram– “Perfection!!”. Until our trainor comes to tell us: decrease the gain, lessen the color sector, increase the gain, take better views. There seems to be something lacking always. And as consultant, now I realize, perfection is not really the goal but improvement. Nobody, and nothing tangible is perfect.
Perfection is according to standards. A task, a person, a moment, cannot be perfect remote from the one who judges it to be. And in a world where many assume the role of “judge” (I’ll be the judge of that!), nothing can really be “perfect”. That should never undermine your confidence and identity.
We nevertheless try to attain perfection. For people pleasers, it is most difficult. Some people are really hard to please (a number of parents including). Standards from different people, from all angles, press and mold us to be what they want and need us to be. And unless we know who we are and who we want to be, we will be kept being distorted by these pressures. We will be utterly frustrated! We can’t please everybody; even though we are perfect to some, during different times, once in a while. We can’t live to conform to the standards of perfection of other people.. even ourselves.
But Yes, there is A Perfect One beyond the standards of the world and sets the standard for all. He is God who loves us personally despite His power and might. He freely offers our identity as He adopts us as His children In Jesus Christ (His son, and God himself) who died on the cross to save us. We don’t have to prove anything. He has proven our worth. In this imperfect world, in our imperfect quest for things and persons in our lives, He sets not the standard to be met as much as the direction to be followed. Nothing matters as much as being with Him in eternity (and With or without a “perfect” partner Ninang.. “Sana nga, with. But no pressure! Happy Love month!😊)
“I don’t expect you to be perfect baby. I’m sorry if I make you feel that way. I was just trying to teach you how things can be better, so it will be easier for you in the future. I love you.”
“I’m sorry for seemingly putting the blame on you though you did what you needed to do. I know many people depend on you, but let not your identity depend on us. You can do without all of us. And you don’t need friends who require much of you. All you need is God, the Perfect one who Perfectly loves you. He is your identity. No matter what we say, or how we make you feel, may your confidence be in Him always.” (But listen to mommy, nevertheless..😬)
– Ninang perfectly imperfect thoughts
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” (1 Corinthians 13:8-10)
“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)