WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO?
(Can they find their way home Ninang?)
I have never broken up with any guy except my husband. Then of course we made up; broke up, made up, broke up, made up (how many times Ninang?? “I don’t know how many times exactly!”)…broke up weeks before the wedding, made up (thanks to my computer I asked Eric to repair which turned out to be not broken at all 😬), and Finally got married (whew!). So where do broken hearts go? Where did my broken heart go (again and again and again)?
“Broken-hearted” is conventionally used to describe the state of people who just got out of a relationship. Oh the trauma of being loved, eventually “unloved”, and given up (Ninang, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all! “Yes said Alfred Tennyson”). But hearts can be broken in different ways. Betrayal of trust I guess is on top of them. Then there’s unfulfilled expectations, too much expectations, hurtful words, paralyzingly fear, strong negative emotions, excessive self-pity, unbearable sadness. Certainly my heart has been broken several ways (me too Ninang..).
Did you know that there is such a thing as a broken heart syndrome (medical problem Ninang? “Yup! Mimics heart attack!”)? According to the Mayo clinic website (mayo.org), it presents with chest pain and shortness of breath (just like a heart attack!) often preceded by intense physical and emotional events. Usual triggers are strong arguments, unexpected death of a loved one, frightening medical diagnosis, separation from a loved one, losing a lot of money, domestic abuse, among others. Even “happy” events can lead to this condition- surprise party (be careful in holding one!), winning a lot of money (that’s why you’re not winning the lotto!), public performance (not sure if this is really happy for many). Please consult the doctor, don’t diagnose yourself (it may actually be a real heart attack!).
It seems our greatest source of joy can be our worst heart breaker. Losing what else can have the most impact in our lives. The more attached we are to something, the harder we fall when we lose them (don’t get too attached?). Broken relationships hurt us the most. That’s why some people decide to be unattached.. even to the people they love most (that’s sad Ninang!).
Recently our senior pastor talked about relational unity among the leaders of our church. He talked about having the disposition of a “servant” in fixing a broken heart. With humility and self-sacrifice, when we think of others more highly of ourselves and are willing to uphold them despite how we feel and what we think, relationships are mended. With forgiveness and acceptance, broken hearts are fixed.
Being a pediatric cardiologist, I deal with children who have congenital heart disease or inborn “broken heart”. My mentors will say, repairing these hearts is easy: Patch (significant) defects, relieve (significant) obstruction, plug excessive flow, correct what is wrong, palliate what can’t be totally corrected. Bring these hearts as closely to normal as possible. Though not entirely, they can be as good as normal. A child’s “Inborn broken heart” should be brought to a pediatric cardiologist (advertising Ninang! “Educating dear!”). But who can fix our physically normal broken hearts?
During our break-ups and make-ups, I asked Eric why I’m always (always!) the one who makes the first move to fix our relationship (who caused it in the first place Ninang? “Hmmmm…”). He made me believe he was also about to except that I did it first and faster. Well, there is the answer to where my broken heart went. To the person I trusted the most.. still. To the only one I thought can fix my broken heart.. In trust and humility. Eric, thanks for fixing my broken heart (again and again and again).
Where do broken hearts go? Rather we must ask, where should broken hearts go? I guess to the ones we trust the most, to the ones who can and we’ll allow to fix it. Deep strong relationships are the best mender of broken hearts. But though there are people who probably can, our hearts can be mended best by the one who made it. Anything broken is best fixed by its maker. All other fixes are temporary. God can best attend to our broken hearts. And with Him is our ultimate home (at least those who believe and follow Him). Our hearts can always be home in Him. Our hearts can always be home in Him. Let’s lead our hearts, broken knowingly or unknowingly, to the one true living greatest Healer of all.
– Ninang fixed broken thoughts
(Artwork by Erika Corinne Sison)
“Take my heart Lord
It is yours
Oh, it is yours
Oh, it is yours
Take my heart Lord
It is yours
Oh, it is yours…
..No one else can make me whole…” (Radical Love by Victory Worship)
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalms 34:18)
“He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.” (Psalms 147:3)
Wait, there’s more: Broken hearts fixed by our God GO and MEND the hearts of others.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
(2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
“Where do broken hearts go
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that’s waiting there
And if somebody loves you
Won’t they always love you
I look in your eyes
And I know that you still care” (Where do broken hearts go by Whitney Houston)
“Cast your cares on the Lord
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.” (Psalms 55:22)