WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU’RE GROWN UP? (When you grow up Ninang?)

I’m grown up (surely Ninang!). Am I who I wanted to be? Are you who you said you would like to become? What did we want to be when we we were small? Are you still hoping to “grow” up? I am. 🤓

“Pag laki ko gagayahin kita! (When I grow up I’ll try to be like you)” is a popular quip given as a complement to someone who succeeded or was awarded for something noteworthy. The irony and funny thing is, this is usually mentioned by an adult himself. This I suppose is either an extreme expression of admiration, an attempt to be funny to cover up a hidden frustration, or a true blue dream and aspiration to become (despite age and limitations!) like the other. When I grow up I’ll be a popular, much-loved TV actress and personality (!)– that’an attempt to be funny to cover up my hidden frustration (it’s not too late Ninang!).

Doctors turned missionaries at 59.. Academician turned real-estate investor at age 51 (Taikichiro Mori), advertising and media person writing her first cookbook at 50 and becoming a celebrity chef (Julia Child).. figure skater and journalist turned fashion designer at 40 and becoming world’s premier women’s designer (Vera Wang).. housekeeper and farm laborer turned painter at 78! (Woah Ninang!) (Grandma Moses). . Actors turned politicians (Noooohhhhhh! Well there probably are exceptions – Ronald Reagan for example- no judgment!). It’s never too late to change careers. It’s never too old to “grow up”. (http://www.businessinsider.com/successful-people-who-made-a-big-career-change-2016-4). What do you want to be when you grow up?

My eldest daughter is soon going to college. And depending on the school is the course she applied to take- Biology, Architecture, and thinking of a Math course last night. I remember applying to different schools and for different courses as well- BS Biology, Medical Technology, BS Math. Will I be a doctor, a doctor (twice considered as I sensed my parents wanted me to be a doctor– “actress mommy, actress!”), or an actuarian. My math teacher in highschool told me I should be a Newscaster. He said he can connect me to his friend. Another highschool Math teacher said I should be a social worker. Hmmmm.. what are these math teachers telling me?!? (In fairness to me, I think I have good voice and diction necessary for a newscaster and am quite good with the kids during an outreach in La Salle Lipa— these are what I’ve been telling myself 🤓). How about encouraging me to take a math course?!?

I want to take up a Masteral degree. I want to get a PhD. I would like to do researches. I want to publish an academic and non-academic book. I would like to do further studies on echocardiography. Is it too late to be an electrophysiologist? I want to cook (c’mon Ninang!). I want to teach students. I want to train trainees. I want to be a wise, effective, always compassionate church and health leader. I want to be a stage mother. I want to be my kids’ personal assistant. I want to be my husband’s secretary. I want to appear on tv (relentless Ninang!). I want this. I want that. What does God want?

I want to be everything for everyone. This really leads to frustration, disappointment, anxiety, and, not rarely, confusion.

What does God want? Submission. Surrender. Peace.

What do I want to be now that I’m grown up?  Definitely a teacher still (what else is this voice for?). Definitely a pediatrician still (hey, I’m good with kids! Most at least 😬).. an inspirational writer (yeah!), recognized or not (I’m writing right? Inspiring? Hmmm…🤔).. A wife.. a mother..a daughter still (we should take care of our parents!). Then I’ll go..umm.. Continue to GROW from here.. where God leads, to what God wants (for He knows and gives what’s best for His children!).. one day at a time. How about you? 😊

– Ninang Growing thoughts

“Many are the plans in a mans heart,
but it is the Lords purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21)

In Psalms 37:3-6:
“Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.”