(You mean “Stakes” Ninang? 😬)

Do you get that look? The “why is she here” look. Sometimes the look of a warm and joyful surprise. But at times, undeniably “i don’t think you should be here” doubts. They are not really questioning your credentials or your motives, well maybe a bit of the latter. They seem to gauge your trustworthiness (or maybe competence)– in all aspects.

Do you ever feel unworthy of what you have and where you are? You’re among people who do better in an area of your life. You feel insecure so you shift focus on a second area you’re better at compared to the first group of people. But it’s only to realize your are wanting again among the second group of peers. Then you go to the third, and the fourth, and everytime you conclude the same. You can do a lot but lacking in all. Why am I here? Yes, I frequently ask myself.

Maybe you’ll say I’m too hard on myself. Maybe You’re right! Why should I care about the look? Or the gnawing feeling of “I should be doing more”? Didn’t I earn my place somehow? Why can’t I be the one to give them the look instead? “Why are you here?” “Shouldn’t you be doing more?”

Well that would be pride.

In all those looks, and in all those questions, there is one answer that can put things right. There is only one answer that can put my heart right. It compels me to stay still. And Probably work but more so enjoy. Why is she here? Why are you here? “Who me? I w a s I n v i t e d.”

Every good, not necessarily easy, thing and place in life is by invitation. And guess what? Everyone’s invited! And you have the privilege to say yes; and certainly the option to say no. Therefore you cannot be proud, but you can have fun. And you have the opportunity to make things better. While being grateful always that you were invited, thus no one can question your place.

And if they get the nerve to follow through the question and asked “who on earth invited you?”. Then you can correct their question, and answer, “You mean, Heaven.” I wonder what then their look will be. 😊

– Ninang weighing thoughts

“I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.” (Revelation 3:8)

“In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:2-3)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
Victory Worship

Every star, You know by name
With one breath, all life begins
From the beginning, until the end
You’re the one foundation

You shape me, inside and out
You made me to be all about
About You
What can I do without You?

So tell me who I am
Remind me of Your plans
Lord, You know me more
You know it all
So, tell me who I am
Remind me of Your plans
I wanna know You more
Know You more!

You say I’m Yours
And You love me most
Nothing I want more
To live for Your purpose
‘Cause You are my God
And You love me most
Nothing I want more
To live for Your purpose!

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