LOVE Beyond Feelings

“The feeling of Love, in itself, is not loving but a yearning to be loved.  Love is action and a decision to act beyond what makes us feel good.”

I remember convincing myself I love my brother on the INSIDE even if I fight with him most of the time when we were younger.  I remember justifying my arguing with my mom during my teenage years with the love I FEEL for her.  “If they only knew how much I love them”, I think to myself when I think of my kids.  And  I often ask myself “Why can’t they love me as much as (I FEEL) I love them? I realized though that Loving, the way I FEEL it,  is not a willingness to give as much as it is a LONGING to receive.

Do you love me? How do I know you love me? Do I love you? How can I prove I love you? Love is in its proof.  We cannot love on the inside.  We cannot love by feeling.  The feeling is our need to be loved by that person.  The feeling is a proof that we want to be loved by that person. True Love is action to favor that person in our words, thoughts, decisions, and actions, even If it hurts. 

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

The feeling of Love, in itself, is not loving but a yearning to be loved.  Love is action and a decision to act beyond what makes us feel good.  When we truly love, we love not on our own terms.  Otherwise, it is not loving but asking to be loved.  When we demand our kids to hug us more, to kiss us goodnight, to obey right away, to be honest and truthful with us, to tell us their problems when they don’t feel like it; that will be exerting authority.  And it’s not showing love as much as asking to be loved and affirmed.

Love is action and a decision to act beyond what makes us feel good.  When we are kind and patient, not arrogant or rude, not irritable or resentful when our brother, parent, or child, or spouse offends us, that’s love.  When we continue to serve others  even without reciprocity, that’s love.  When we give our children their wanted space and still bless them and pray for them with earnestness— that’s Love.    

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

1 Corinthians 13:7

Love is when we hug our mothers even if we are annoyed by them, or do something for people even if we’re doing a whole lot more.  When we choose to support, encourage, build up others even in our own unfulfilled longing to be supported, encouraged, and built up— that’s Love. When we choose to speak words of affirmation despite our disappointment and frustration, that’s love.  Love is difficult.   Love entails sacrifice.  If it does not, that’s not love. 

Who do you say you love? God tells us to love others as ourselves.  But if doing so is just easy and a matter of feeling for us, we have to act. 

“But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?”

1 John 3:17

But there is nothing wrong with wanting  to be loved.  God commanded us to love Him! And God commanded us to love Him with action!

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

Matthew 22:37

“For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.”

1 John 5:3

But before He asked, He gave love.  And oh, what sacrifice!

“but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Romans 5:8

And that’s how we should love… not with feelings or thoughts, but with words, action, and sacrifice, persistently… even in our anger or pain. 

“…I have loved you with an everlasting love;

therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

Again I will build you, and you shall be built…”

Jeremiah 31: 3-4

-Ninang Love In Writing ❤️

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